Broken Hearts and Growing Pains

I recently had to say goodbye to a friend of mine who betrayed my trust. We had been friends for almost 2 yrs.  I’ve been examining my reaction to this separation and trying to discern which part of this experience is causing me the most pain. Obviously the loss of a friend and the overall disappointment is bitter, but I believe that the biggest contributor to the pain is the fact that I’ve had to reconcile the dream reality with the actual reality. In our minds we create a version of the person we are friends with. They are kind, honest, trustworthy, etc. They have faults, but we take the bad with the good. We would gladly come to their defense if they were ever accused of something that went against the person we KNOW them to be. 

Occasionally, there comes a time when we realize that the reality and the dream have little in common. I think that it’s this realization and the reconciling of the two worlds that causes the most pain. Sort of like growing pains as you grow an extra inch. Our heart expands or contracts, as does our vision of the world and it’s inhabitants. Also, much like growing pains, there will come a point where things are a bit awkward as we grow accustomed to this change within ourselves. We will find ourselves in an odd gangly stage,but hopefully as we continue to grow, we'll emerge even stronger and more beautiful than before. The best we can do is to try to not allow our hearts to be hardened by these growing pains and to continue to work towards trusting others and loving with our complete hearts. Even if we continue to be hurt by those we love….

As Alfred Lord Tennyson said “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

 

Stay lovely and have a wonderful day!

The Girl Who Doesn't Want to Grow Up.

Lately I have been looking back on my childhood and my inevitable progression into adulthood. It happens so gradually that you don’t realize that you’ve matured or grown until it’s long since happened. I remember myself as a child eating a bowl of some overly sweet cereal like Lucky Charms and being so disgusted by my parents choice of healthy and taste free nonsense. I declared that when I grew up I would still eat sweet cereals and not give a hoot.

Years and years have passed since then and all of a sudden I have realized that I am eating healthy and non-sweet cereals. Worse, I can’t even stomach eating Lucky Charms! What the heck happened here? When did this change happen?! How is it that I ALLOWED this to happen?!

This change happened so stealthily that I didn’t even realize it until it had already happened. Like a thief in the night, my childish ways were stolen from me and replaced with the common behavior of most adults. How horrible! This has begun to make me nervous about other things that might change as I get older and older. I recently finished re-watching the Avatar: Last Airbender series. The movie left such a bad taste in my mouth that I had to remind myself of why I had loved the series in the first place.
I am one of the few adults I know of who still enjoy watching cartoons. (This would be another one of those things that I vowed to never give up as an adult. Also, I am not including adults with children. They have a lovely excuse for watching the cartoons that their kids enjoy)

While I have (so far) stayed true to this vow I am beginning to wonder… Will I wake up one day and realize that I haven’t watched a cartoon in years? Will my favorite thing to watch become the news?! When you’re a child, you look forward with eager anticipation to the days when you will finally be deemed an adult. As an adult, you dread the unending progression and cling to whatever memories of your youth you can. What a funny thing life is sometimes!